I'M WRITING A BOOK! Pins & Petals - Part 1
Hi there everybody! So, I started writing a book. Quick synopsis - it's about vampires. Shocker! Goth kid writes book about vampires. But in this tale, vampires are born of having all veins frozen and amnesia placed upon them. They need to be emotionless and cold - memories create warmth. So forgetting is how they are brought forth. Our story takes place following Daniel. Our main guy is someone who feels nothing, doesn't know what emotions are. And when these dark eerie dreams set in that cause him to question whether ending it all would be something that could save his wonderful girlfriend Tabitha from more pain, suffering, and hearthache - he has to figure out what could be causing these dreams. What do they mean? Would she really be better off without him? And why has this dark looming stranger with the solid ice blue eyes who offered to make everything go away made every hair on the back of Daniels neck stand on end? Stick along for the ride and find out.
Here are the first couple of parts. Formatting is complete garbage. But I'm just happy to get some story out there. I would love all the feedback and critisisms I can get. (now if you're going to completly shit all over it, I totally understand it's not for you. No harm) I would love to hear what you guys think. Enjoy!
Pins & Petals
Epilogue
A slurry of bodies are coiled and slumped at my feet. So many lifeless, colorless… bloodless bodies. All sharing the same soulless expression of happiness sunken behind the deceptive package of pain and desire to stay alive. The anguish that rests on the forefront of their lips - the sooted, hollowed eyes that carry lament on the cufflinks of a three pieced liar dressed for the kill that couldn’t hide his true intentions better than a high-functioning alcoholic poker player. The facade is finally wiped away. You know it’s funny. The only time you’re ever truly honest is when telling the truth doesn’t even matter anymore. When the concept of lying or telling the truth is just a Sunday school lesson that they teach you so you don’t steal grandmas freshly baked treats out of the cookie jar. I never really was one much for treats. Lying on the other hand. Now that is a vice I just could never seem to forfeit. I never lied to harm anyone. I never told an untruth for my benefit. No, my lie is mundane, it’s boring, it’s… the facade. My greatest and only lie is -
I
Am
Fine
I built the walls and gates to keep the truth from pouring out like the saddest fountains in the courts of hearts and tears that feign the sense of caring. How could they understand the feeling of being feeling-less? How can you experience something that is by definition the exact thing you are missing? Like using a word in a sentence to describe itself. Like saying blue is blue. But what is blue? How do you feel the feeling of not having feelings? Such a strange paradox.
Have these bodies felt that same paradox? These beings splintered from their mortal coils - did they feel the same feeling? The feeling of no feeling? Was the emergence of happiness from the depths of nothing simply another lie at the end? Or was it a simple exhale, a lifelong sigh of relief to not carry the weight of the burden of the lie anymore. To finally close their eyes and rest. To finally be fine.
Maybe i can find my answer written on their eyes scrawled in the trap doors of what is supposed to lead to the soul. My need for understanding takes the helm. I kneel down to search for the matching second half of my inquiry. I grab a shoulder of a slumped corpse with its back facing my person. This cold about it. It felt like gripping dry ice. Pain shooting through my fingers but I’m unable to release my grasp. Something so strange and so familiar. I know this person.
I flip the body. It was hard to tell where his head began and the shadows on the floor ended. The ink colored hair partially cascading, biting the face like a mourning veil. Brilliant emerald gems that could peer into my darkest secrets. A scar on the lower lip running to the chin from the time I fell through the sliding glass door when I was 7. They never tell you how different it is to see your face that isn’t a reflection in a mirror. I look up to notice the rest of the bodies. All carbon copies. All the same clothes. All the same skin. All me. I look back to the body I decided to look for answers in - only to find my doppelgängers gaze affixed to my own. Burning through my facade - he knows the feeling of feeling-less. He has the answers I seek. Before I can dig for the answers I lust for, a frail sentence leaves his lips, “wake up”
Contingency
“Wake up”. The words danced through my ears as a pair of red hot crimson amber eyes fluttered slowly - anticipating my focus to finally fixate on the iris of the only person who’s stayed by my side since I could walk.
“Good morning to you too, Tabby”
Tabitha had a smile that could make marble statues dance in a valley of spring stars. The only thing more beautiful was her laugh. A sound so primal it awakens a hidden genome in the depths of the human soul. The true spark that causes man to breathe and hold on to what little life we have in this cosmic divine comedy. She was my rock. The only thing that keeps me tethered to this plane of existence.
“You were having the dream again, weren’t you?”, she asked gently with compassion living behind her corneas. Her brilliant window panes of fire distracting. I almost forgot to answer.
“Tabby I told you, those dreams stopped ages ago. That therapist you recommended was great.” I say still trying to peel my eyelids open and recognize my surroundings. “Really, sweetheart. I’m okay.”
Tabitha paused before answering, concern weighing heavy on her brown. She always looked so cute when she was concerned about me. Which admittedly was a lot. “I just care about you… I don’t ever want you to fight battles on your own. You know you always have me. Please talk to me if you start struggling again, okay?”
Now I didn’t mind lying to other people. My sinister little fallacy wasn’t anything more than a white lie no one would really be defeated to find out about. But lying to Tabby. I would have an easier time fighting the sun. But I didn’t want her to worry. I couldn’t rob her of that smile. Even though deep down, we both know I’m lying through my teeth. I sit up to meet her form and take her hands in mine.
“Of course. You’ll be the first to know”. The weakest smile I can muster finds its way to the corners of my lips. I’m hoping she buys the fabrication again today. Please please please don’t call me out on my lie.
Her gaze drops to my lap. “Promise”. The words soft as clouds born of rose petals, barely to be perceived by the human ear.
I can feel the knife I plant into my own stomach start dragging and twisting from side to side. Knowing that I’m not telling her the truth. The one person who actually cares if I’m here or not. And I can’t bring myself to let her see inside. What is wrong with me. My answer is as fake as the smile I’m now wearing to comfort her through her worry.
“I’m fine”
She runs her thumb over the bracelet on my wrist. The same bracelet she made for me in kindergarten. She saw me crying in the corner of the playground. I felt like an outsider. I didn’t understand what it meant to lose both parents at such a young age. All I knew was I didn’t get hugs from my mom or dad anymore. I felt like I had no one. Until this little redhead, cute as a button, made her way over to me. I still remember seeing that smile for the first time. From that day forward, I have always believed phoenixes are real.
The sea of flames dancing on her head as the red hot embers of her eyes burned their impression into the soul of this sad, lonely little boy.
“Here, I made this for you!” She holds out a bracelet in her hand made of string and one little red bead on it. She grabs for my wrist and slides the crudely made shackle over my fingers. “It’s not a friendship bracelet. My names Tabitha and it’s so I can keep tabs on you. You don’t need to cry alone anymore” and she hugged me. The weight of her embrace felt like a freight train ramming through a cinder block wall. I felt peace. I felt home. I started to cry again, not for the pain of feeling alone. But for the simple fact that I really needed that hug.
“You’ve kept this on after all these years…”
I can sense a cold about her words. I know she feels like she’s not doing enough. But I don’t know how to tell her that it’s not her.
“And I’ll keep it on for many more. Until the threads break and you have to make me a new one”. I said smiling, running my fingers through her inferno. At least that wasn’t a lie. Tabs had this way of making everything seem a-okay. In a world where everything made me feel empty - she made me feel nothing. Like the void was temporarily filled. But I didn’t feel happy. At least I don’t think I did. And I felt guilty that I didn’t. But I guess that’s the closest I’ve gotten to feeling something. I’m sorry Tabs, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could give you more than guilt. If I knew what love was, I’m certain this girl would be at the center of every love song and hand written note I could muster up to scribble down.
She blinks away what looked like a tear on her lash before her face travels back into full view. How can she carry such compassion for the reflection sitting in her eyes. After all that I’ve done. All that I haven’t done. Is that love? To be naive enough to still care about someone, thinking they’ll be better? Hoping - they’ll be better? How can love be the most painful emotion?
“How about some breakfast? I’ll make your favorite”, that smile
Cuts
So
Deep.
“No Tabs, let me make you something today”
She was not having any of it. Once she was set on something, she was set in her way. The same way a river erodes its mark in the ageless mountain. There is no turning it off. I… well I can’t really say I love that about it because- what is love? I’ll settle on admiration. I admire Tabby to the stars beyond sight.
Scrambled eggs, a Kraft single, and some fried spam on an everything bagel. My favorite. It’s really the last thing I remember eating with my parents. If I looked up the definition of comfort food in the Webster tomes I am beyond a shadow of a doubt certain that this would be the entire definition.
Tabitha had this sixth sense like an eco location, pinging back every time I was slipping deeper into losing myself. This primal drive that commanded her to do everything in her power to fix me. On days when I lied the deepest, she’d make this little offering for me. Hoping it could connect me to the few memories I had of being happy. But even those feel like an echoed shell of what I remember. Like some false memory that wasn’t mine to hold.
“I don’t know how, but this one is even better than the last one. Is it even possible for you to make any bad food?” I dress the question in italics as I slid it across the table to be payed in return with a gorgeous blushing face trying to take cover behind her little scrunched up nose.
I never got tired of seeing her face. It was such a polar opposite to my dreams that have been slowly been oozing their way into my waking reality. She was my lighthouse in the blackest night of a spilled inkwell on a misbegotten letter. She was the shore when I was becoming the ocean.
“So I was daydreaming again. And I think if we could find a way to ethically and safely dye all the pigeons at our beachfront Greek island wedding burgundy - it would really help us stand out from the obtuse Pinterest Bridezilla crowd” her words squeaked over her hand covering her mouth as she at her food. A soft chuckle brewing behind the smirk that loved to tease about being somewhere far beyond the norm.
“Ahh yes. You know I was actually thinking the same thing but I deliberately intended on letting you say it first so you would have thought it was your idea.” Our playful banter was something I looked forward to. A nice distraction from the other thread pulls that occupy my thoughts the majority of the time. “Truth be told, I was a little alarmed you would have wanted anything that wasn’t red! A cardinal sin one might say?”
“Daniel, if you make another pun like that - I am legally obligated to marry you right here on the spot.” The look of disappointment from my brilliantly inlaid jape had melted to an inviting aura that was a mixture of amusement and adoration. That happy look on her face. The look of the moon when it finally sees the sun. How could something so bottomless lift someone so deserving of the very thing I lack to the highest peaks all that life has to offer? How does she feel everything from me when I feel nothing myself?
“I couldn’t imagine being happier with anyone but you, Tabs.” That’s true, I really couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine being happy at all.
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Daniel.” The glimmer of cosmic stars in her eyes. Like a galaxy made of inferno. “And there’s not a single outcome where we aren’t together. I should know. I am psychic, remember?”
“Oh how could I forget? You’re the one who accurately foretold that I would have that horrible reaction to that gas station sushi.”
“I told you, you should have listened to me.”
Our giggles simmer down as our eyes lock towards each other.
“Forever and always?” She asks quietly. Holding up a tiny porcelain pinky.
“Forever and always.” Locking my pinky to hers. “No contingencies”.
I hate lying to Tabby
Featherfall
Foghorns cry out beyond the ocean fog of the port. The smell of brine and seaweed obfuscate the rest of my senses. Every blink brings me back to the pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney land. Dockwork wasn’t my first choice of a career path - but the pays decent. Also working graveyard shifts was a nice plus. It minimized the amount of people I had to interact with. The less time I had to wear this mask and pretend to be interested in somebody’s birthday, or feel “sorry” that someone’s dog died, or share my opinions of the latest celebrity drama that really I just couldn’t care less about.
“Another exciting night, Daniel!?” Melody rings from the office as I walk by
“Oh never a dull day, Melody! Also, Tabby wanted me to tell you she loved the hair clips!”
Melody loved to make hair clips that resembled bird feathers. She really had a knack for it. I walked in one day on her making one while singing what I could only classify as a Celtic hymn. Since then we’ve had the inside joke that she’s our resident song bird. Which is how she got the nickname Melody. Sometimes I forget it’s not even her real name.
“Oh I’m so glad she likes it! Tell her that I went with a black and white feather for protection to help both of you guys be safe! You never know what things wait around the corner.”
Melody was a self proclaimed witch. I never really gave such a second glance to the notion, but she never tried to hex me or try to persuade me with a voodoo doll so I didn’t really care. Honestly, after Tabs, I would argue Melody was the closet thing I had to a friend. If friends talk about the mundane day-to-day repeats of loading and unloading cargo in the dead of night.
Most of the time we didn’t have shipments so we’d sit around talking about whatever 20 question “learn about me” quiz she could think of. I can never get a beat on if she genuinely wants to know the questions she asks or if she just wants something to fill the stale air to keep herself awake. Either way, it beat sitting and staring at the wall for 12 hours allowing myself to spiral endlessly. And plus, Tabitha seemed to really grow a liking to her so I might as well give my best attempt at trying to pretend I was interested in building some sort of report with my co-worker.
“Okay but if the crab could talk and you weren’t going to be rescued for another 3 months, you would not eat him! By that point you’ve already gotten to know each other!! You’re way too nice and you care too much. You couldn’t do that to that poor little guy”
“Melody, if I was starving and didn’t have any choice of food, I would eat him… IT. I would eat IT.”
“Ah-ha! See, you called him “him”. You’ve already humanized and personified your crab companion. It would essentially be canabalism at this point.” She spoke with such a matter-of-fact cadence, but not in the rude kind of way. It was the kind of way that made me actually think I was starting to care for some ocean creature that didn’t even have opposable thumbs. “And besides, you wouldn’t want to feel lonely, would you? Well neither does ‘Nippers’. He found a friend when he thought he too was alone on the island. He trusts you and looks to you for companionship. You can’t just jump to spit roasting him the second your tummy starts growling. I know you would care about him”
“I don’t care about a lot of things, Mel. I definitely don’t think I’d care about a talking crab”
You know, it’s strange. Whenever we have these talks, it feels like the fog in my head lifts and I can see some clarity. Like a ferryman with his lantern is guiding the way to what it’s supposed to feel like to feel. It’s funny to picture Melody as my morals and emotions teacher, but honestly it’s not like I could care any less. So where’s the harm in letting the feather-witch give me some guidance.
“You care more than you think, Daniel. I see the way you look at Tabitha. You love that girl to the moon and back and that’s on your bad days.”
I wish I loved her as much as everybody thinks I do. All I ever seem to do is hurt her
“No you don’t!” Melody blurted angrily
“What??!” My eyes almost peeled out of their sockets. Did I say that out loud? No I definitely didn’t. Did she just… did she just read my mind?
“That last bag of Fritos! Don’t think I didn’t see you reaching for those. You’ve already had 3. Those are mine, mister!”
“Oh.. yeah of course. All yours.” I toss her the bag of chips. Was that just one hell of a coincidence? She seemed to respond pretty sternly just for a bag of processed trans fats and sodium. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that 3rd bag. I’m more of a donut guy, anyway.
“So are you going to tell me more about those dreams? You have another one last night? You seem more off than usual.” Melody was honestly really the only person I even remotely told about my dreams. I couldn’t even tell Tabby - I was afraid I’d hurt her again. I couldn’t live with myself if I was the cause of anything to happen to her.
"Uhm.. yeah, actually. It was the pile of bodies one again. This time I actually was able to lean down and flip one of them over. It was..." I trail off before my thought can expell from my lips. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to spell out that I was having dreams of countless copies of myself, dead, strewn around like a toddlers room that hasn't picked up his toys yet.
"It was what?" Mel asks inquisitivly. Eyebrow raised as if waiting to hear who the actually killer was in a true crime muder mystery podcast.
"It was eerie." My words floating into the cold damp air
"Did you see his face? Was it somebody you knew? How did it make you feel? What happened before you..." Melody's voice trails off as I start to dissaciate. I can't bring myself to focus. Everything sounds like it's underwater.
Her questions always felt like hot pins slinking into every crevas of my brain. Each word unraveling the intricate mask I've been crafting all these years. It's like there was this ice coating every square inch of the inside of my body and it was starting to melt. Every time she tried to pry into these segments of my life felt like degloving my skelton of it's skin. Maybe this witch was actually casting a spell on me. Maybe I was too ignorant to notice a hex when it was staring me in the face.
I just didn't have it in me tonight. "Mind if we talk about something else? Maybe we should get back to the topic of, what did you call him exaclty? 'Nippers' was it? How on earth did you come to that name?" I'm just grasping at something to change the subject. The less time we can hang on the topic of my dreams the better.
"Well you see, I'm glad you asked. He is a crab, right? So he has little claws." She starts pinching her fingers and thumb together in her best crab immitation she could muster. They do say immitation is the greatest form of flattery. "And if you get too close then he'll NIP you! So obviously his name has to be Nippers."
"You know, if they handed out awards for most creative character design in a hypthetical moral question, you'd definitily be in the top nominees, Mel" I offer jokingly as I stare in amuzement at the crab boogy being performed before me. Almost like a ritualistic dance of comradare.
Mel stops to chew on a thought that has freshly entered in her mind. "You know, you already have a 'Nippers' in your life".
Perplexed, I try to skim through every single possible second of existince that's led me to this exact moment right now "No, I am pretty certain I'd recall having a talking crab as a pet." Albeit, I was amused at the thought of having a small crustacean moral naviagator to acompany thoughtout my struggles. Might seem a little cuter than your typical angel/devil combo.
"No, smart guy, not a literal crab. Tabitha. From everything you've told me, she found you when you were all alone and you needed somebody. And it sounds like she didn't have all that coming up either. You guys found each other. She's your talking crab on the deserted island. And you know you couldn't live with youself if you did anything to hurt her."
Melody was right. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting Tabs. Even though I already have. Thats a pain that I will carry with me until the day those dreams of mine come true.
"Daniel... she knows you didn't mean it"
With the hazy state Melody's 40 question quiz put me in, I had almost forgot I actually confied in her what happed a few months back. I was starting to think she really could read my mind. I can still recall that night like an ingrained motion picture horror flick that is gut-wrentching but you just can manage to peel yourself out of the seat to leave the theater. So you sit there with your eyes glued to the screen, like it's what you were born for. And you watch. And watch. And watch. And watch.
---*7 months prior*---
"Daniel, oh my god! What's wrong, it looks like you've seen a ghost?!" Melody's typical expression disapated like a cloud in a wind tunnel.
"I'm just having a rough night..." My words oozed from my jaw like an infected wound, slowly seeping into the air the filled the room.
"Hey, talk to me." She lays her hand on my forearm. The moment her palm rests on my skin I feel this pulse. A wave of calm. This... clarity. For the quickest of seconds, I think I felt the frequency of trust. "What happened?"
"It's Tabs. I hurt her." I think the shock of what I had done mere hours ago wore off once I started speaking out loud. Making it all real. Pulling the hypnagogic hallucinations from a dream-sequence into the ever real world. "I was dreaming. Always with these stupid dreams. It was cold. Hands from shadows were gripping me - trying to pull me down. All I remember is waking up in front of a broken bathroom mirror, a piece of glass in my hand, and the most beautiful red eyes staring back at me. Tabby holding her throat. The moment I had realized what had happened..." I trail my words. The movie still playing in my skull. It's rude to talk during a film.
The ringing in my ears slowly buzz's out to the sound of Melody trying to reel me back to earth. "..iel... aniel... Daniel. Hey, come back me. You're right here. Look at me." Ashamed like a dog with his tail between his legs, I sheepishly look to Mel's face, expecting to see a look of disgust and anger. It's absent.
"You didn't mean it. I know you didn't mean it. Tabitha know's you didn't mean it"
Maybe she didn't fully understand the picture I had just painted for her. "I almost completly sliced her throat open, Melody. She was almost dead because of me” the thought of almost cutting the cord to the only thing I have in this world causes every bone in my body to radiate with this deep primordial cold. Almost thriving off the fact that I’m slipping closer to nothing.
“I know, Daniel, I know. Tabitha called before you got here and explained everything. She was worried about you. She didn’t want you to completely isolate yourself. She’s not mad. She not scared. She’s worried about you.”
Another glowing testament as to why I didn’t deserve Tabs. Even after almost turning her into a shredded ribbon party streamer, she still held her concern for me above any rightful fear and panic she should be feeling. But those emotions just didn’t exist for her. I guess she took a page out of my book.
Why couldn’t Melody have given her that protection hair clip earlier.
Through the eyes of fire Pt 1
Daniel, please stop drifting from me. The words I wish so desperately I could tell him. I want him back. But he’s right here with me, physically at least. But him - the real him, feels like a magnolia leaf on the surface of an ocean. I can see him, but he’s lurching out to choppy waters and I don’t know how to swim to get him.
“Danny!” I ring out playfully. I can hear him rustling around in the bathroom looking for his toothbrush. How one man can manage to misplace the same item every single day without fail is beyond the scope of comprehension that I have for the love of my life but that is exactly the reason I’m so in love with him.
He forgets things, but remembers my fear of water. He forgets to care for himself, but would move mountain and valley for me so I wouldn’t have to miss the sunrise. I’m also fairly certain if I ever died, he would study the occult to bring me back just so he could remind me that we promised forever and always and he always keeps his promises. I trust him with every single fiber of my being. He would never lie to me. He would never hurt me. And I couldn't be more in love than with the man painstakingly scouring every inch of our medicine cabinet for.
“I have an empty spot in this bed that requires a big, strong, warm dock worker to come crawl in and warm some cold feet, please and thank you!”
“A big, strong, warm dock worker huh?” He calls back with a mouth full of toothpaste. Followed by a swift spit, gargle, rinse. “I think I check 3 of those descriptions - but I have no idea how I’m supposed to warm your toes. You’re the little oven that constantly has her preheat on. If anything -“ Daniel jumps into bed and thrusts his freshly freed piggies from the tyranny of his socks under the blanket like they were on a mission.
“No no no no, wai - AHHH!” His little icicles dancing and gliding over my now chilled little extremities.
“I think I’m the one who has cold feet that need to be warmed. Unless you meant -“ the thought quickly forming to be malleable on the tip of Daniel’s tongue. Don’t say it, Danny boy. Or I’ll have to fall more in love with every little pun and every little smartsy fartsy comment you make in the playful banter that we share back and forth. Honestly, our playful banter was something I looked forward to. It really seemed to give Daniel a nice distraction to whatever seemed to be pulling at his threads. And I could spend time with him. The real him. The him that isn’t drowning and gasping for air. I miss him so much.
“Unless you meant YOURE the big, strong, warm dock worker. Pardon me, everyone, pardon me. I wasn’t aware that THE Tabitha Renee was gracing such a humble FROZEN peasant such as myself, on this fine spring morning. And so selfishly extending her warmth to those in need”
Internally I am screaming like a banshee with the pain of a million microscopic snow flakes invading every cell of my body. But honestly, I loved it. Danny had this way of brining this calm about him. He had a way to make everything feel a-okay. He had this way to mellow out my temper when we were together. Like he was the ice to my raging inferno.
“Literally I have to figure out how you’re always so cold all the time. I have met walk in freezers with a higher core temperature than you!”
Daniel laughs that laugh that shows his emeralds know how to dance “does that mean miss firebird would like the ice age to go away?” He starts to slowly pull away and out of the bed. Like he can get away from me that easily.
“Not at all,” I say with a little grin that always drew Daniel in like moths to flames. I plunge my fingers into the shadows that dance upon his head - and pull him in. Our smiles collide like the weight of an imploding neutron star. Time becomes a fairy tale as I experience the raw shockwave of the cold fusion between our lips.
I let out a coy little rebuttal, “Miss firebird has been preparing for the cold snap. Including, but not limited to; ice baths, chewing ice cream, not wearing my jacket after 7pm, and most importantly, falling in love with the most handsome personified walking-talking humanoid glacier I have ever had the pleasure of knowing”
Daniel’s smile was like staring directly into the tundra. A blinding searing white that I would gladly burn my corneas on. His laugh, his smile, his kiss - everything told me he was fine. But his eyes. Those beautiful green gems. Those told me he was struggling. I knew he wasn’t okay. His words said he was fine. But like I said. He never lies to me.
“Can we just lay here for like, ever? I’ve grown rather fond of being chilled below sub-zero temperatures” I present the offer hoping my personal snowman will bite.
“I would like nothing more. But you know you’d be kicking yourself if you didn’t go in today. You love that shelter. And they love you. And as much as I’d like to be selfish, I need to share her majesty with the rest of the world.”
Daniel had this sobering enchantment to him. Where I could get drunk off my emotions and let them completely run the show - he likes to say I’m headstrong and determined but I know I can be a pain at times - he clears the haze from my eyes and he helps me think with a bit of rationality. It’s nice to not be encased in a cocoon of my emotions every now and then.
“Ugghhh I know, you’re right.” The resignation in my voice is taking up every space in the room. I didn’t want to go. “But if I stayed here, we could watch reruns of Lazy Town. I know you really love it when Sportacus does those flips”
“It is really cool when he flips. But no no, you need to go make someone’s day better, and I need to get some sleep. The last couple days have been taking it out of me.” Daniel’s eyes looked heavy. Not just from physically being tired, but like he had a weight of carrying something else. Something pulling down deep inside his soul.
“Hey, talk to me. What’s been going on?” If he would talk to me about the inner workings of his mind I would gladly and gleefully listen to him for hours and hours on end. Just so he would know someone truly cared about him.
He pauses momentarily before continuing “It’s just these dreams still. They’ve been getting more.. intense. Just really been making me feel off” his eyes drifted to another plane of existence before shaking away whatever dark entity was slowly lurching its way to the surface. “But really, I’m fine. I took some sleeping pills. Hopefully that’ll turn everything off for a few hours. Really, it’s nothing. Go ahead and get ready for work. I’ll be okay”
Something in me though. Something I couldn’t shake. It just felt so very off. It felt like Daniel was in danger. But in danger of what? The thought almost bubbles over for me to mention something to him. But what am I to say? ‘Hey Danny, baby. There’s this screaming alarm in my head that says I need to stay here and protect you?’ Honestly, if I actually had said that he probably would have listened and taken me seriously. He always believed and trusted in me. We both did. But I felt like I was just being clingy and paranoid so I kept my mouth shut. I really wish I hadn’t.
I finished getting ready and go to leave out the door, still the blanket of something glooming over head getting heavier and heavier.
“Daniel, I’m leaving - I LOVE YOU! See you when I’m home” I belt out down the hallway.
I reached for the door handle before hearing a sharp fragile crash coming from the bathroom.
“Daniel!?” I call out to no answer. Worry starts to set in. I check the bedroom -
No Daniel.
I walk to the bathroom door, only allowing the smallest of light through the crack in the all but fully closed gate. I can feel it. The pain, the agony, the emptiness, the nothing. The dark that’s feeding off the life of Daniel - It’s alive and breathing. Behind this one inch poly board barricade. I push my hand to the entrance to hell and push.
The broken mirror is the first thing my eyes focus to. Crooked shards strewn upon the sink, some still barely holding to the frame like its life depended on it. My mind fires neurons, connecting and anticipating the monster I expect to see standing over Daniel’s lifeless body. For one of his nightmares to be personified and not just some ephemeral thought.
The door finally reaches its apex, revealing the scene I was dreading for a split second but felt like an eternity. A hand grips a glistening blade of mirror to Danny’s throat. The creature is beyond physical description. It’s void of emotions - and of a face. For it wears Daniel’s skin like a tormented costume pretending to be human.
“Daniel…” the words creep from my mouth.
“They keep grabbing. Keep taking. Stop taking!” Daniel screams. I’ve never heard him so much as raise his voice before.
“Daniel, please come back to me. You can put the mirror dow..” before I can finish my train of thought, Daniel gasps as his eyes rip open and swings the shard as if he were fighting for his life.
The deadly crystal dances out towards me, like he’s done this before. Like a natural born killer.
My hand palms my neck, he completely missed. “Daniel…”
Daniel’s eyes look to me as I smile. He’s back. The spell that coiled itself around the inner workings of his being dissipated. The dripping faucet seemed to catch his attention. He glances down at the blood dripping off my elbow to the floor.
“Tabby…” his face - sunken and cold as if the phantom that tried to end his life atomized right in front of me.
“I feel… dizzy.”
